Monthly Archives: August 2012

I DON’T CARE

It was quite a while ago when I had the biggest turning point in my life. I got to really experience and realize God’s love for me when I hit rock bottom. My life has changed. As weird as it may sound, but I’m grateful that I hit that bottom in the past. And at that time, I made up my mind that I was going to put my words into real action. I said that this time, it has to be real. I’m going to walk that talk.

Previously, He was only my last resource and even at that time He was too kind to me. He’ll pull me out of the misery then I will go back to my old life. Like a little child who cried and begged for something and will go happy and forget about everything once the request has been granted.

But as we all know that He is the master of restoration. He took my hand, closed my open wound, healed my pain, wiped my tears, told me how much He loves me, explained why He let me shed tears like a river, and offered me a second chance. He asked me to stand up and walk again, only this time He asked me not to let Him go, ever. He said I have to trust Him, really believe in Him. So I did and I’m still on that walk until now. He made all things new and surely He did make a new me.

You know what is best about faith? You acknowledge that in the past Jesus had gone through all things you are scared of today so that He can tell you how to handle all that. Let’s just say fear of rejection, betrayal, loneliness, physical pain, being looked down, and everything you have in mind right now, He mastered it. He had prepared everything; open the path and now we just have to go through it and even better He walks with us so that we won’t get lost.

So let’s not looking back to our past, it’s over. Let’s not waste that cross. I am strong for God is with me.

If God points one direction for me to take, I will go.

Even if the only person I will find on that road is my self, I will keep on walking.

I will move forward.

Even if I have to go through bumpy road…

Even if the path is pitch dark…

I will move forward.

I DON’T CARE.

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Changes change people

Many times in my life sadness said hello, but the worst was always over a goodbye. It was during my time of contemplating things when I suddenly felt the urge to google the origin of the word ‘goodbye’. Why does it have to have the word ‘good’ when it actually brought sadness. What so good about sadness? What’s the good in ‘goodbye’?

So I managed to find the origin of ‘goodbye’ and surprisingly it was actually the short version of ‘God be with ye’. From time to time the phrase got influenced from ‘good day’ and ‘good evening’ and it’s finally transitioned to ‘goodbye’. Knowing its origin then I thought, it shouldn’t be that bad after all, the ‘goodbye’.

I dug deeper and tried to find the reason why people can be so sad when they say ‘goodbye’. Goodbye could mean loneliness and separation, but I came to an answer of why the sadness and separation in goodbye are excruciating for most people. Am I wrong to answer it like this: because goodbye always means changes, and changes change people. When we lose someone close and important to us, everything is changing. Our routines are different. Our views of lives are different. And aren’t we all agree that changes have never been easy and doing things that we already know is always more comfortable? Indeed. But will we ever grow when we reject changes? I’ll let you answer the last question quietly in your heart.

I have learned that it is fine to be sad and to cry, God created emotion anyway. But to stay in that situation and host a pity party is definitely (I believe and am sure) not a part of God’s plan for you. God can use everything and everybody in this world to make you grow and I believe that is what He is trying to do when He lets goodbye greet you once in a while. It is actually a moment He created to give you a chance to grow, to embrace your greater blessings in a new way, new thing, new knowledge.

I’ve experienced so many farewell that really broke my heart, some even caused me pain that seemed unbearable. I was so hard-headed, hard-hearted and angry that everything didn’t happen as I planned it. Grief often blinded us from seeing a bigger plan God has made for us. We choose to stay helpless and hopeless and even worse sometimes we also enjoyed the pity look other people gave us during that situation.

Know this: keep on moving don’t stay still and be happy being miserable. We are too overwhelmed with grace to be miserable. God didn’t let you born in this world to be miserable. Miserable is not available in our dictionary when we are too busy being joyful while embracing God’s grace.

Changes are necessary so that we grow wiser and stronger. Changes happened, are happening and will always happen in the future. But my soul will be still. My heart will rejoice. And that is all because I know God equipped me enough to be so. And majorly because of this verse:

Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever. Hebrew 13:8 (ESV)

The world may change. But my Lord Jesus: He will love me and take care of me forever, and I’ll be just great.

Happy Friday and have a great weekend, friends!