A letter to my father

Hi Pah,

how is it going up there? I’m imagining you are sweeping the garden there wearing your short and your towel shirt and headband. Afterwards you will just take a shower and a nap. Later on, you will make yourself a cup of tea and talking to people. You always know how to make people laugh and make them feel as if your presence is a dear warm sunlight.

I always picture heaven with big gardens and colorful flowers blooming everywhere. And you were always fond of this scenery. I don’t know why you loved sweeping the garden so much, every time I asked your answer had always been: “In Shaolin Temple, the first lesson for the monks was to sweep the garden.” You said it’s a test whether you would do the smallest thing with sincerity and the best intention. Point taken.

I’ve been going ups and downs since you left. I miss you every day. Every night. I found it even hard for me to sleep sometimes, because I kept thinking about you and wondered whether you are also thinking about me. Now that you’re gone, I’m remembering and analyzing what you have done all your life. It always ends with a thought of how grateful I am to be your daughter. That I got to learn so many beautiful things from you, a very kind-hearted person.

Sometimes when disappointment knocks on my door and I feel really sad, I think about why can’t I be careless and be more logical about things. But then I thought, I’m my father’s daughter. You put a lot of piece of you in me and there’s no way I will change that.

You always said that a small start is also a start and it will grow bigger every time I add a piece of my heart into it. Even when I’m sweeping the floor. It might be a tiny job to do, but then you pointed out that when we do it wholeheartedly, it will be so meaningful as if it has invisible touch of love. You have always believed in kindness that it confused me sometimes why you let people abuse your kindness. Then you told me “when it doesn’t work the way you want it, but you have done all your good, you will be ok. Even when it takes awhile for your heart to be ok.”

You taught me that it’s ok to get hurt from putting all your heart into something. You told me that something will hurt so bad only when I love that much. Even then, the pain will turn into a beautiful thing, because I will always end up knowing that I actually have a really big heart and am so capable of sharing that much of love.

Vermisse dich sehr, Pah. Ich schreibe dir etwas anderes mal.

Lovelovelove,

Sara

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My Head and My Heart

Often confusion appears when we are facing choices in our lives. Choices are easy when both options are no-harm. But problems will definitely greet us when one of the choices is painful and hurtful, yet is the right one.

Question: How do I know which one is the right one?

Albert Einstein once said “if your heads tells you one thing and your heart tells you another, before you do anything, decide first whether you have ‘a better head’ or ‘a better heart’”.

But then I have an idea… Why has only better one of those if I could have both?

God, the Master and our Creator must know us best than anybody. He knows what kinds of sin we could do. So, He equipped us just more than enough to be like He wants us to be.

“In him you also, when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation, and believed in him, were sealed with the promised Holy Spirit” Eph 1:13 (ESV)

When we believe in Him, He seals us with the Holy Spirit. Spirit of truth, spirit of righteousness, and spirit of kindness. When we invite Jesus to our lives and ask Him to stay there forever, the Holy Spirit will be inside of us.

“God has called us to live holy lives, not impure lives.” 1 Thes 4:7 (NLT)

The Holy Spirit that we received by the grace of God will guide us to live holy. It enables us to recognize the right choice we should take for all options exist. The choice we make through questioning and look for the answer in His words.

So, instead of choosing only to use one of them…

I have made covenant with my heart and my head that I will use them in a right terms and conditions I acknowledged with the strength of the Holy Spirit.

Head will need to step in when heart starts holding on to something wrongly hurtful.

While…

Heart will need to step in when head keeps telling justifications that add hatred.

The main purpose of their existence is to please God. No other reasons.

Heart and head will have to have a great teamwork and communication to help us becoming the person God has always wanted us to be.