Monthly Archives: November 2015

Because you matter to me

I’ve been told that social media is not good for me and then a good friend of mine said “I think its important to be aware of everything around you and not focus on urself all the time”. I was quiet for the reason that I thought social media is about sharing-is-caring kind of concept. To keep in touch with the people around you. In other words, it’s not about you but it’s about connecting with people. It’s not me as the center but it’s more of togetherness. However, that sentence means totally the opposite. It indicates how your socmed account is actually all about you and you only.

I don’t know if you get the logic that I’m trying to convey here. But let’s put it this way: facebook was meant to be a platform for you to keep in touch with your family, relatives and all those group of people who are matter to you but you don’t get to meet on a daily basis. The aim is to keep them updated with your life, because everybody seems to be too busy with so many things already (in a real world). Today, facebook has becoming more of a place where you get to flaunt things in your life to basically everybody. Traveling, hip restaurants, hip clubs, even participating in marathons, etc etc. 

Second example, Instagram that was meant for you to share your pictures is now more of a platform to do business and most of all to become famous. The more followers you have, the more ‘celebrity’ you’ve become. It’s saddening for me, but I must say it’s a good business.

I’m nobody to say that those are bad. What I’m trying to say is that, all of these things are creating more and more self-centered people. To me it’s a bit of an off-focus moment. It’s like too many people are trying so hard to build their virtual-reputation. But what is that for life? At the end it is always individual’s choice. To me, I like to keep it small but truly meaningful. I want to cherish my life, real life and stop trying to impress people who don’t even matter. So all of you whom I still keep close, you matter to me. And I don’t hesitate to share things with you because my virtual reputation won’t cloud your judgement about me. You know who I am and I want to keep you updated about my life, because you matter to me. Thanking Akim for that sentence. You don’t talk much but when you do, it has a blitz-impact. Wowza.

For the rest, good luck in finding your real purpose in having social media accounts. This is just a thought so don’t get offended ok. Have a happy life and peace out!


My weeks before Christmas

It was raining outside and I checked my calendar, guess what? Christmas is less than 50 days away. Excited and mellow at the same time. The second year Dad’s not around anymore. He was never really fond of celebrations, but still I miss him more during Christmas.

I had a weird dreams with him in it two weeks in a row. The first one was that he was gently caressing my cheek with the back of his hand while I was half asleep. I woke up in the middle of the night and felt confused. It felt so real. Just so you know, all my life he was the only man who always did that to me. It’s always comforting and that’s always how he eased my anger.

The other dream was weird. Somebody told me that he saw my Dad somewhere so I asked him to show me where he is. We went on a quest to find my Dad and ended up finding him chatting and laughing with a bunch of strangers with some drinks on the table. I said “Pah!” and he said, “Oh halo sayang! Guys, this is my daughter.” So I shook hand with everybody on that table and I woke up. 🙂

Last week was also a quite bizarre week. There were a lot of misunderstandings, mishaps and it was surely a roller coaster week for me. But amazingly, the more things went wrong the more I know myself better. One thing for sure, based on past experiences, if God is about to teach me something new, I always have to learn it the hard way. Never know why it always has to be like that, but most probably because He knows I’m so stubborn and hard like a rock. I’m ok with that, because He knows best.

The terrorist attack in Paris followed by the social media saga where people were complaining why Facebook only provide France’s flag for the profile picture, and so on. How people start to connect everything that happened to religion. How some amazing people tried to explain it but got buried in an ocean full of misleading thoughts. I have couple of paragraphs to respond to that, but I choose not to. Potatoes will potate anyway! It’s saddening how human’s mind can grasp and justify the concept of taking lives of other as a way to emphasize your statement. It’s so saddening that it creates anger in my heart. No good.

You know what is really essential lately? I pray more than I used to be. It soothes me a lot. Sometimes I only whispered “God, can I just be happy?”. Funny how His answer was through the new song titled “Wanna Be Happy?” from Kirk Franklin’s new album. Pretty amazing, right?!

So, let’s start the countdown for Christmas. On my wish-list: Sony Alpha 7 and new Kindle. Fingers crossed Santa is reading this post :-p



That Frank Sinatra’s Songs

I’m laying down in my bed staring at the ceiling. The more I stare, the more I don’t understand what I’m doing. It’s a bit chill tonight. I’m in my planet, reading a good book while suddenly I realize there’s Frank Sinatra’s song playing on my speaker. Bewitched. So I start checking my phone and apparently it’s playing the whole album of Mr. Sinatra. Not bad at all.

For once in my life. I know how songs can influence my mood strongly most of the time. But I really don’t know what to feel while listening to the album. But then I thought, good enough. I just lay down and start to just enjoying the song. Fly me to the moon. Independently feel ok. Really nice feeling.

I’ve been constantly planning a million items my whole life and when it doesn’t go as planned I suddenly feel like a stranger in the night. But this feeling at this very moment is really really nice. I’m ok with chaos. I’m accepting it because I learned sometimes uncertainty can lead you to a new and a better thing. Who knows, right.

My way might seem always the right ones. I still think they are, still. But, if it turned out wrong, call me irresponsible but I can live with that. I need to be careless sometimes, it’s good.

It’s a lovely night for me. I hope for you too.