It’s only a couple of hours until 2016. I’m having a good day so far. I watched tv and slept, a lot. Earlier today I glanced across the living room and landed my sight on a picture on the wall, my dad. He’s smiling. It was taken during my brother’s wedding party a couple of years ago. And then there’s a little bit of pain on my chest, I whispered “why did you leave me so soon?”. That’s where my reflection of the year 2015 began.

I realized that I’ve finally made it through the entire 2015, safe and sound. It’s not a stellar year for me personally, but I learned so many new things, about life. To sum it up, after my dad passed away I entered 2015 with wounds, they were already bad that I avoided so many conflicts because I thought I wouldn’t be able to bear another pain in addition to what was already there. As a result, I mastered how to adapt to people and situations. I did it so wonderfully that I forgot about myself all the time. I was focusing too much on not getting hurt and avoiding frictions. I held myself back too much that I turned into someone I didn’t recognize anymore. I tried to fit in to people’s mind, to accomodate their needs of my existence. I lost myself along that process.

And so I’ve learned that I can be kind and strong at the same time. Kindness is putting others before yourself, true, but you cannot let yourself got lost while doing that. People will always take as much as you are willing to give and furthermore sometimes they are even mistaken your kindness for your weakness.

So, putting yourself first does not make you a bad person. Even if you have to encounter frictions and disputes because of it, it’s ok. Life is not supposed to be like a smooth sailing, we will not grow if we don’t face difficulties. What’s most important is that you don’t grow bitter, that you will keep loving anyway. You comprehend that in this sweet bitter life, the best way to go through it is always by having so much love in your heart. So put love on top. On top of all.

My wish for you and me for 2016 would be that no matter what comes our way, we will have the love in our hearts. So at the end we will be able to say: I went through good and bad things, I learned a lot and yet I made it through because my heart is full of love and joy.

Happy happy new year, dear friends and families! God bless!

-Sara Sihaloho-

Always my favorite night of the year. People seem to be more cheerful, more caring, more friendly, more relax and calm.

Christmas lights and decorations, christmas songs, family gathering, the laughter, the food. It warms my heart so much that it makes me cry.

Lit candles at church while singing silent night along with other hundreds people. Makes me wondering, I hope everybody is as joyful as I am.

The self-reflection that flows in my brain is just unstoppable. Not going to share it all here, but I just want to share it with you about how grateful I am.

For every single thing, for tears that clear my view, for joy that keeps me going, for loss that leads to a greater gift, for health, for not quitting, for accepting that life is not supposed to be easy but I always have the option to still make the best out of it anyway.

The very important and most valuable lesson in this almost-end of 2015 is that I can be alone without feeling lonely. And the reason for that is because I train my heart to always be grateful. To always have faith. It’s not easy, but it’s worth it. A joyful heart makes everything possible, trust me. 

I hope you are all have a wonderful evening, whether you are alone, with your family or with your friends. I wish you all an overflowing joy inside your heart that shines so bright and brings joy to others as well.

God bless you abundantly!
With lots of love,

Sara

Do not ever try to change a person. Foremost, do not ever try to change yourself to fit into a person’s mind. Especially if that person is not in your everybody committee.

My mother always told me that I have too many friends. I think in a way that’s true. What most people around me don’t know is that I actually have a really small circle consists of only maximum five persons influencing me, plus Beyoncé. Hihi.. I chose them wisely, of course.

Most friends come and go, some came back and became friends for life. Some really are gone. Some are friends for coffee, some are friends for deep convos (and coffee too). Along the way, I know I can make friends so easily even with strangers. But to filter what’s entering my thoughts is really essential.

I took every word and sentence from a convo very seriously. Because I always meant what I said, and assume everybody does too. Wrong. But that’s ok. The only person I have control over is myself so I manage myself instead.

The key of this whole thing is contentment. You really have to know what you want, where you stand, what are your goals in life and stick to it. Listening to all the words that people have to say is also inspiring, but you have to make sure you don’t ride their waves and get carried away in a wrong course. Contentment comes from doing the right thing that push you closer to your goals. If you need a daily reminder of this, take a 10 minutes in silence every single day to remember what’s the point of what you’ve done that day.

Because the truth is, my friend, to be content is one of the best feelings in the world. Yeah!

S