Letting go..

Something you have heard many times in your life. It’s raining badly and I just need to get it out of my chest.

Most of brave people I know, they know how to push through, when to do it and when they should stop. You see, when we are letting go of things that burdened us, it was never meant to show that we are weak and careless. It righteously shows that we are even braver to take risk of getting hurt and less harm for others. Wiser. Stronger.

It’s a tough season for me lately, juggling between so many things, one mishap to another. It eats you, drains you. But deep down inside I know I can make it through this and I also know that the worst part is when I’m being in this taking one little step one day at a time to get out of it.

I’m a list-freak, I created a lot of lists in my life that I cannot count anymore. So here’s the list for today:

  • Let go of things that you cannot control. I know this sentence for around ten years now, nevertheless it took me a deep and long process of sleepless night to remember it back again.
  • Let go of pain you cannot get rid of. Pain. It is always necessary to have it, it reminds you that you are human that you feel and you sense. Embrace it. Try things: sing it away, sleep it away, work it away, smoke it away, drink it away, etc.
  • Let go of things you cannot have.  Your mind and your heart might sometimes know that this one particular is the perfect one, it feels so right and logically speaking is also correct. And then, breaking news: you cannot have it. Let it fly and set it free, as one wise man said: what’s meant for you, will come back to you. What’s not meant for you, will never be for you. Even when it feels right. Yes, even when it feels sooo right.
  • Let go of that exhaustion. Tough season is tiring, but you have to get it out of your system. You have to be able to lay down and force your mind to not think about anything. Not even solutions and plans. I know it is always good to make plans, but it forces your mind too much at some point and you need to stop.

So.. Things, persons, I’m letting you go. I’ve always been so clear in conveying my view, but you seem to either reserve your answer or contradict me. I need to put my life at ease, so I’m letting you all to fly away and be free. I wish I could fly with you and see the world together but my wings are broken. So damaged that I will have to stay on the ground and only look up to the sky.

Rain..rain.. you’re killing me inside. You’re cold and beast. You don’t wash away the sorrow, you speak my tears in a precise way. Thank you and thank you.

-Sara-

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